dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
