Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
