Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
