we're chasing vodka with high fives
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
