Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
