ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
