There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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