Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
