Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
