big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
