Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
