Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
