end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
