All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
