wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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