He had one of those small greek statue penises
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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