He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
