I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
