I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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