I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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