I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
