i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
this boner is exhausting
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
