Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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