There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
