He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
