So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
