you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
