lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
