I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Mom said you looked used
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
