you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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