he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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