Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
