so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
