So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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