when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
