i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
