i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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