Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
