I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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