I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
