I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
