My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
A+ Viking dick
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
