gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This baby is an asshole
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
