YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
