thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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