no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
