well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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