Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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