Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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