is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
